The Quest

As you can tell if you regularly read my blogs, I have spent a good part of the last three weeks being in some emotional turmoil. In an effort to explain the reason, I googled "fear of the future". There's no phobia with that name but apparently a band thought it was pretty cool. I've driven just about every one of my friends crazy with whining and fussing and worrying about the decisions I had to make and how to do that.

So I left home yesterday morning and headed to San Antonio. I love this city. I called this little trip 'a quest of self-discovery'. I sound so deep, huh? My quest took me to the river walk, which is absolutely one of my favorite places of all time. On my walk, I bought this cute pair of peace sign earrings because everyone on a quest should look good, don't you think? I had a latte and a blueberry scone, because they rock. I sat and watched people and discovered that I really think there are some people who shouldn't wear shorts and that I'm incredibly jealous of happy couples and I'd like to know how they do it.

I sat on a rock and watched the river and thought it was kind of a shame that people litter. And for a while I wondered what it would be like to be a fish. It might not be too bad. You wouldn't have to make any decisions. It was getting cool and kind of dusky so I wandered back to the hotel. I rented Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and watched it once all the way through. Then I put on my i-pod, muted the movie and watched it 5 more times to my own infinite playlist and wrote my own script. I got to be Nora and my 'like' interest was Nick. (that alone made me giggle). It ended differently every time.

I made some decisions yesterday. I want to say that some of them are life-altering and some not so much. But in reality, they were all life-altering because every time we make a decision it alters our life, even if it's only a little. I don't know how much I discovered about myself but I've decided on a path and maybe that's all I can do for right now.