Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Just for this day

The thermostat says 60 but I'm colder than I ever remember being. There is a lump in my throat like a pill caught sideway. My chest hurts as if something very large has taken up residence. I can't catch my breath. I look in the mirror and hardly recognize myself. What happened? Who is that and why is she looking at me? Tears are streaming down my face but I don't think I'm crying. I'm completely unprepared for what's next. From outside myself, the world seems perfect. Inside my head everything is so incredibly wrong. I am unable to put things in any sensible perspective. I wish sleeping or eating or running or talking or music or art or water or trees or SOMETHING would put things right. Nothing has worked.

Fix it?

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