On being non-existent

I had a vivid dream immediately before I woke up this morning. In it, I held my breath, closed my eyes and disappeared. It wasn't as if I died. Or went somewhere else. It was as if I had never existed, rather like George Bailey.

I liked it.

rambling

there is a lump in my throat
and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach
and endless tears
i am frozen
with no idea how to move
south?
east?

the past neatly packed into boxes
carelessly left in the attic to become
brittle and fragile

incite/insight

on giving in ..

circles of closeness
levels of intimacy
degrees of happiness
measures of who we are
weighing each moment
comparing
emotions
lives
reduced to
scientific and mathematical terms
in an effort to
explain the unexplainable

maybe I should give in and let go

Stay Tuned

Right before I fell asleep at 5:34 a.m., I wrote an entire blog in my head. When I uncover it from beneath all the junk that makes up the rest of my existence I will post it. If I remember correctly, it was interesting (if I do say so myself). Stay tuned.

lalala..

Mooonbeams
Illuminate the
Night sky
Effortlessly
Bouncing from
Cloud to cloud

I wish I could
Follow

i miss you

When I miss you
and it happens too often

I get out the box that is filled
with the memories
of us
and
of you

I relive the moments
and words
and feelings

It is the sweetest indulgence I know