The Nightmare

Last night, I had that nightmare.
You know the one.
The one where you keep looking and looking for that lost piece.
Only mine was worse.
Lots of pieces were missing.
I'd find one and put it carefully in place using super glue so I was sure it would stay put.
Just as I did, another piece would go missing.
And another.
And another.
Until finally, it had all fallen apart.
Some of the pieces were on the floor at my feet but I couldn't pick them up.
Others were lost forever.
The memory of the look, feel and sound remained but there was no finding them again.

There seems to be no morning.
No light.
No sun.
No waking up.

So I'll close my eyes.
And wish.
Wish for that exact moment before it fell apart.
So I could change that one thing.
Hold that one breath.
Make that one movement.
Say that one word.
That would have kept it together.

This is all so much harder than I ever thought.